introducing new editorial content

fans and sandwich voyeurs around the world are abandoning their keto diets at record rates to assemble their own sandwiches and they all want a way to promote their work.

introducing #sandwichesyoumade.

  1. send me a photo of your sandwich.
  2. i will post it on @sandwichesimade (twitter/instagram) with attribution if it is eligible.

eligibity requirements include:

  • it must be a photo of a sandwich that you made.
  • no nudity.

here is how i made an open-faced sandwich.

1. finely dice some green peppers and onions. in an adjacent relatively low-lit environment, coarsely chop some cilantro.

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2. toast a slice of bread on a pan while setting fire to the toaster lobby’s coat of arms (not pictured).

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3. lay on some sick tracks alternating between the sounds of shredded cheese and diced veggies. upload your song to myspace music, an organization enlightened enough to teach the public a lesson on impermanence.

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4. bake your sandwich with this one weird trick.

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5. this stunning photo of a sandwich in the making captures something that occurs in fewer than 1 in 100,000 kitchens.

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6. become a star nfl player and make it to the super bowl. when you score the game-winning touchdown, forego your celebration and direct your rabid energy to sprinkling salt, cumin powder, and red chili powder on your sandwich.

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7. broil your sandwich in a conventional oven. the underside will remain burnt and and not-burnt as long as you never inspect it.

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8. throw some coarsely-chopped cilantro on your sandwich. resist the temptation to place another piece of toast on top because not doing that is the entire premise of an open-faced sandwich.

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