on modern life
i was absorbed in a listicle yesterday when i received a notification that i could save money on spiral cut ham and get it delivered to my door within the hour.
how does my phone know about my intense fear of missing out on ham? what else does it know?
when modern life alarms me i look for an escape. that usually means one thing: eating a sandwich that effortlessly delivers on the right balance of fat and acid.
here is how i made a third tomato sandwich.
1. softly croon aqua’s “barbie girl” while you delicately slice a tomato. if you are not a fan of coconut-flavored la croix, return to your sandwich once you have cultivated some taste.
2. toast your bread while practicing your axe-throwing skills at a statue of a toaster lobbyist (not pictured).
3. keep your coconut-flavored la croix cool with your favorite koozie, also known as a “candom”.
4. if you want to know how we got here, you may want to read my first post, a tomato sandwich, or its gripping sequel a second tomato sandwich.
5. transport yourself to a simpler time with a third tomato sandwich.