a whistleblower report
sandwichesimade is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous guest post. we have done so at the request of an early megafan and professional photographer, whose identity is known to us and whose job would be in no way jeopardized by its disclosure. we did discuss how fun it would be to pretend that it might.
we invite you to submit a question about the post by slipping into our instagram dm’s @sandwichesimade.
this is a “guest” post, but actually i feel compelled to drop some truth bombs about this administration. i made this sandwich for the blog’s lead administrator back in october and he felt so full and satisfied afterwards he was incapacitated for 3 months.
while i feel somewhat responsible for the lapse in posts, i cannot sit by as the matter goes unaddressed.
anyway, this is how the sandwich was made. it’s pretty damn good, make it at your own risk.
1. flour, water, sourdough starter into a bowl. mix & heat to make bread.
2. stage an elaborate
coup of the website administration photoshoot to properly show off your loaf.
3. dang… dat crumb.
4. cilantro, garlic, jalapeño, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper, cumin in a food processor and let it do its thing. this is zhoug, and frankly it’s doing the heavy lifting in this grilled cheese sammy.
5. cut your loaf into 6 thick slices (cut the ends off, spread some soft grass-fed butter on them and eat them while you’re waiting for the rest of this to come together. hmmmmm good snack.)
6. slather the outside of the bread in mayo. yes mayo not butter you need to believe me this is how it happened. the mayo-ey flavor will cook out but the mayo will be more resistant to burning at a higher temp than butter or something i think this is alton brown wisdom but whatever it works and i’m taking it as my own.
7. slather that zhoug sauce on the inside of the bread, then lay 2-3 slices of gouda (not pictured) inside each sandwich. you don’t need a ton of cheese to create a coma-inducing sandwich.
8. get a cast-iron skillet real hot and put the 3 sammies in there. is the triangle in the middle there a secret illuminati symbol? yes. now cover it with a large lid, trapping the heat in will help the cheese get meltier since we have some thick-cut sourdough protecting the cheese from the direct-heat.
9. let it get some nice color and flip it. notice how when you flip each sandwich you still see the illuminati code? do you think that’s an accident?! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!* then go back to sleep because this sandwich is gonna knock you out like it did the editor in chief.
10. sprinkle some parmesan if you want (and you do want).
11. also make tomato soup and then stage another elaborate photo shoot. then overthrow the government.
*the only use of caps on this blog?